i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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