I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
