Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
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Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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