You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
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Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
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Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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