I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
