At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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