I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I could fuck to npr.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
