He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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