Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
