I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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