I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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