...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
