i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize