They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
