Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
