We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How does one acquire holy water?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
