if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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