she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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