What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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