I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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