so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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