can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
