the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
