it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize