Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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