you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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