words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
