Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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