just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
