if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
