so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
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When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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