We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
