Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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