Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He better not be in your backpack
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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