Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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