No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
