This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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