All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
