I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize