I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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