I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
