the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he puts the penis in happiness.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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