don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
