We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
