real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
