did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
