the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
