Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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