i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
