Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
