My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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