We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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