Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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