Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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