whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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