My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
