I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
