I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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