I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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