Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
