i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
