The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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