i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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