So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
